Sanity malfunction, pieces of a broken soul
by strippedink
Summary: 'Unable to hide the pain anymore, she dropped on her knees and wept. And when there were no more tears left, she locked her battered and weary heart away with the conviction that she would no longer need that source of pure weakness.'


Bonnie Bennett could never consider herself as a lucky young woman. No. Unfortunately, life hadn't been awfully kind toward her. In all her years of existence, she had walked hand in hand with loss and abandonment. But her spirit had always prevailed in the midst of pandemonium and doom.

Yet none of those losses managed to overthrow her from her proud stance. Her chin kept lifted and her eyes determined when life pried her mouth open and poured the sour taste of disappointment down her throat.

In its due time, her friends –Elena and Caroline– had become her anchors to sanity where none was left. The three of them had vowed to remain unbreakable, and together nothing would stop them.

Yeah, right.

That had been just another lie. A temporary chapter that had never meant to last.

But it was, irrevocably, the past year that put Bonnie through more tribulations than she could actually sustain. Unable to hide the pain anymore, she dropped on her knees and wept. And when there were no more tears left, she locked her battered and weary heart away with the conviction that she would no longer need that source of pure weakness. The soul that took residency of her body made of flesh and bones had merged itself with cold oblivion. Just so she could escape that daily dose of addictive misery she was so used to. And that was the day Bonnie Bennett sealed herself away with the regrets of a lifetime for the last thing she needed was her conscious eating away at her when recklessness knocked on her door.

Fate was probably having a field day where she was concerned. As the last hours of the year flew past her, irony did not miss the opportunity to mock her with pieces of broken memories that flashed through her mind as self-inflicted punishment. Escape from this hell seemed impossible, and madness started clawing at her, baptizing her with poisonous anger and bitterness. The only emotions she dared to feel.

On her solitude, she sat at the bar with her head down in a stance of defeat. Her purpose lied behind one simple reason, to feign weakness where there was none until her enemies lowered their guards when approaching her. Then, only complimentary surprise would be painted on their faces as she struck.

The bottle trapped between her cold fingers, she poured herself another glass of top shelf brandy. Like butterfly wings, her eyelids fluttered closed as a generous swig of scorching alcohol awoke every nerve in her throat with its gradual descent. She hissed at the sensation.

"Happy New Year, Bonnie." She mumbled to herself.

As if on cue, a string of fireworks ripped the skies apart with deafening proportions. She laughed bitterly as further recollections fueled her brokenness.

Oh, what a joy it is to be alive.

Hauling the bottle across the wooden counter of the bar, she dropped money on top of it that should cover tonight's expenses. She, then, headed toward the door.

Outside, in the biting cold of December, Bonnie joined the several adventurous people that ventured into the night for a better view of the colorful explosion breaking apart the endless darkness of the sky. Some blinked at her with stupefied admiration after studying her figure from head to toes. Cladded in a dangerously sexy gown that flaunted her every curve with detail, she remembered the last time she had dressed it. That particular night. And visibly cringing, she cursed her poor choice of attire but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. If fate could taunt her, why couldn't she?

Her eyes, darkened by the seductive allure of perversity, had barely stolen a peek toward the skies blooming in color when that familiar electric sensation stiffened her spine. The stench of death surrounded the area. Touched by the hand of Death himself, there was a vampire nearby and Bonnie found that as an opportunity that fell right into her waiting hands that longed for retribution.

The sound of high heels clicking against the ground echoed into the dark alley that led to the employer's entrance of the bar she had just exited. One glance later, she was venturing into that thick darkness. Bonnie quickly assumed a defensive stance when eerie silence was disturbed by apparent struggle and muffled moans.

Shit.

Instinct consumed her inebriated reason as she fearlessly interrupted a vampire's feeding. One should know better than to get in the middle of a vampire and its prey. But Bonnie Bennett had a few tricks in her sleeve that hindered her fear. Unmitigated fury ignited her every cell, awakening an ancient power that called for justice from the ether. Shaking from the sheer intensity of it, the angry witch broke the lover's embrace that was nothing but a charade before setting her gaze onto the abhorrent creature made of night.

"Run," she barked at the bleeding human, wheezing from the near death experience.

She did. And with all the energy she had left to spare. Bonnie, on the other hand, remained frozen on the spot with a sneer that could frighten even the most valiant of evils. She showed no mercy as she stripped the vampire of all his might with just a mere thought. Weakened to mortal levels, he bellowed in rage while wrestling against the unseen restraints that had him pinned to the wall as soon as her hand had been extended and her fingers curled the icy air that blew around her.

He was a feast to the eyes. What a pity.

"Feeling impotent already? Don't worry, vamp. In a few moments, you will feel very much dead." She couldn't help but laugh at her own misplaced humor.

The power sizzling underneath her flesh mounted and oozed to the surface, elevating her body's temperature as she stalked her prey. In pure drunken fashion, her magic grew in potency as often as it slipped her control. The vampire, hissing at the unseen shackles, lunged himself at her direction in hopeless hope of being granted a slight chance of tearing the skin of her throat apart and killing her on the spot.

There was an eerie light of wickedness dancing across her eyes once arched fingers positioned themselves on top of his chest, particularly over his left side of the chest above his beating heart that had once cheated death. Next, an ancient calling for vindictive retaliation materialized in heavy breaths of wind cocooned the witch that stood defiant in the face of danger. She laughed again. Bitterly.

Her gaze pierced the blue eyes of him as her nails dug tortuously into his flesh, ripping apart the material of his shirt. A fissure of tainted magic broke the atmosphere thick with unspent tension, enabling Bonnie to reproduce the ripping out of hearts accomplished by vampires with their sheer brutal force in identical fashion. Small streams of blood in bright red gleamed eerily beneath the pale moonlight as they cascaded down the length of fingers and arms. With disdain mixed with immoral curiosity written across her face, she tipped her hand until the dying organ rolled out of her grasp onto the ground in a most merciless manner.

Collective gasps brought her attention from the slayed vampire to the acceptable group of people that stood rooted at the entrance of the alley.

Perfect. Just perfect.

The gang of good doers caught her indiscretion right at the end. Open mouthed, Stefan, Caroline, Matt, Alaric, Elena and even Enzo stared at her with unyielding condemnation reflected in their gazes. The collection of similar expressions plastered onto their faces would have been hilarious was I not expecting the censuring police to express their surprise and discontentment for my actions.

"Bonnie…?! What's going on here?" Caroline decided to break the prolonged silence.

"What? Never seen a witch kill a vampire? Or did you just come here to point your equally bloody fingers at me before finishing with another request for the town witch?" Bonnie teased the group with exaggerated sarcasm rolling off her words. "Now, I'm the problem. Oh dear Gods. You have to fix me!"

The young witch, marred by more internal wounds than external, tilted her head to the side in a gesture of pure dramatics as the back of her hand accompanied her movement by landing on top of her forehead. A noticeable tic started in Stefan's jaw. In return, she offered him a shit-eating grin.

"Wait a second there. . . One, two, three, four, five, six… Where's the infamous seventh member of this exclusive gang? Still a coward, I see." She snorted with an eye-roll. "Predictable."

"Bonnie!" Elena came in his defense. Ever the protector of assholes.

This time, it was Stefan's turn to intervene. Calm and collected as always, he supported Elena's reprimanding tone. "Bonnie, what's going on with you? What's the meaning of all this?" He made a point to gesture toward the gruesome scene she had been the architect of with something that reminded her of a glower.

Laughter burst free in a rather frightening fashion. She refused to satisfy their idiotic curiosity by confessing how little attention they all paid to her and her needs. Instead, she gave them a droll stare.

"I have to know this," she slurred her words as bloody fingers gripped the neck of the bottle she had bought earlier for another swig. Sobriety had abandoned her earlier without a glance backward. "Did he send you all after me? Oh wait, I already know the answer to this one."

Pause.

"Of course not!" More laughter ensued.

Sneering at each one of them, she bent down to collect her handbag from the ground while her other hand maintained its hold on the bottle as if life depended on it. Caroline ventured into the alley with uncertainty. One step later, she paused. Her lips parted to deliver words that never met the light of day or, in this case, the dark of night. The witch rose her hand faster than she could blink, her palm facing them in silent request for silence. There was a roller coaster of emotions darkening her thoughts, fueling the anger she felt every day. Exhausted from the constant abuse and lack of assistance when times require it, she clenched her teeth and her eyes narrowed into slits.

"You know what? Fuck you all!" Bonnie barked.

And just as she found them, that is how she left them. Open-mouthed.

Her chest rose and fell with the accelerated breaths she took. One followed by another. She was still processing what had just happened. . .

Her foot slammed on the gas pedal with desperation to escape the claws of coincidence that had brought her to the same destination as her so called friends. She had always been so lucky.

Without a destiny in mind, Bonnie drove aimlessly for as long as her hands shook from the exertion that came with performing powerful magic and the raw, unwanted emotions of confronting the people that had once meant the world to her. Swimming against a current of cold disappointed that collided against scorching fury, she sped her way toward the outskirts of town.

Finally alone, she cut the engine, bringing her car to a stop. Grinding her teeth, foul curses left her lips when the first notes of "Without You" by Breaking Benjamin began playing on the radio. Gut-wrenching agony tore through her in merciless waves, an instinctive reaction to haunting memories that refused to be burned down by the sands of time. Those treacherous sung words had a weakness grip the broken pieces of her soul with vice-like strength, one she wouldn't dare admit to bear.

(Sing something new)

One sob broke free.

(I have nothing left)

Another.

(I can't face the dark without you)

Broken-down, the once bubbly witch full of energy had been reduced to an empty shell, void of life. By then, the limited space of the car wasn't enough to hold the sheer amount of despair and anguish crowding it. Breathless, she vacated her seat to let the frigid air of the night soothe the inferno she couldn't escape from.

(There's nothing left to lose

The fight never ends

I can't face the dark without you)

A cry of raw misery left her throat aching while she pounded her fist against the glass window of her car repeatedly, and without pause. In a matter of minutes, blood leaked from self-inflicted wounds across her knuckles, consequence of the constant rain of blows on the window. With one last cry allied with the ancient power running through her veins, she succeeded in plunging her fist into the window, smashing it with supernatural gifts. The sound of bones cracking followed the unloading of unsolved anger.

(Holding the hand that holds me down

I forgive you, forget you, the end)

Defeated, Bonnie sunk on her knees. Physical pain could never be compared to the emotional one. The levels in which they stood remained terrifyingly apart. Not even magic provided her an ounce of solace. Without taking notice of her broken hand, she procured that peace of mind and heart by lying in the middle of the road. And when she couldn't find it, she cursed her own existence to the silence of twinkling stars.

Roughly an hour later and back in action, there was no hope left in her eyes. Naked of warmth, only a thick blanket of ice clothed her soul as she bathed personal items with gasoline. That included her house and her beautiful Ferrari that had been forgotten in the garage for years.

Insanity had knocked on her door, and she welcomed it with open arms.

It only took one lit match to unleash chaos and destruction on everything she had ever held dear. But that still wasn't enough.

No.

Desperate to erase her from existence, she schemed to stage her tragic death. For that, she visited the nearest morgue and dragged a lifeless body of similar age into her house before allowed the unforgiving flames to engulf her entire life. The voice of doubt rang in her ears a heartbeat before throwing the match. Whispers of uncertainty clouded her certifiable resolve, asking her about her family and friends reactions and how they would never grant her forgiveness after such an act of cruelty.

She didn't care.

"I have no family. I have no friends. No one will ever know the truth." She mumbled to herself. "And tonight, a new chapter begins. There's new ink to be spilled."


End file.
